there's a girl who wants to start

sometimes things just happen to you

what just happens to you?
you know. things.
like poetry, or love, or remembering the time you walked barefoot over cold stone in India on your way to breakfast?
like when you saw that boy and you weren't in love with him any longer. you didn't want to tell him and admit you ever had felt that way.
I want to watch that movie so terribly. it would make everything make sense, the way the dialogue careens and the hand burns.
if you would text me first
if you would only
I just like the way these keys feel, the way the lids close slowly over my eyes and I don't have to fight it
I like the way I like you, you being the thing I want.
the thing that happened to me is meeting you drunk and wanting something out of that
when you don't remember,
what is there to remember?
is anything experienced, lived, felt?
ambulation, laughing in my sleep for you
the black razor of my phone implores me, you're so close.
always at my fingertips, won't you bring your hips to me?
I like your glasses and your hair.
I just like you I hope it's not a problem.

I am happy to be alive

Now I've let myself find someone attractive and care about them.

fuck

another list

People I've Told about Krystaal

-Rachel
-Becky
-Jehan
-Tym
-Sarah
-Steven
-Helena

something filled up my heart

 My heart's broken.

My heart's stronger than it ever was.

I'm smiling my ears off.

I'm smiling to break my chest.

My hair gets in my eyes.

My hair guards my little blue eyes.

I'm twitching with anticipation.

I'm twitching with the ecstasy of you.

My bed is empty.

My bed is welcoming me home.

I'm home. I'm love. I'm happy.

ISP

 dear January

let's get stupid.

 

enough was enough

I'm genuinely worried after last night that there's no one left on campus that I'm attracted to and intrigued by, that gives me butterflies.

So much mystery gone, in one night! So many people I lusted over kissing that I'm done with now! I'm truly kind of disappointed to feel that so many people I was interested in have lost their allure.

strange. sad. will it be like this, when he comes back? I want hopeless crushes and intense, nerve-wracking infatuation.

people I kissed last night

Andrea Jarret
Varvara Suarez
Mark Ishman
Evan Sigmund
Sara Ypsilanti
Evan Neal
Alex Cline
Tim Nest
Sarah McManus

other people I've kissed at New College
Connor Lucas-Smith
Janardana Hayton
Krystaal McClain
Lauren Edwards
Anna Hubbard
Michael Parker Getz
Loren Mora
Erica Lindegren
Austin Taylor
Jeremy Blackowiak