winds will move us around

writing goals for March-May of 2011

-publish "Why I Write" in a literary magazine
-publish "The American Library" in a literary magazine

Books Read in 2011

1. The American Prose Poem by Michel Delville

2. The Calculus of Owls by Sarah J. Gardner
3. Slouching Towards Bethlehem by Joan Didion
4. Bodyworld by Dash Shaw
5. P.S. Your Cat is Dead by James Kirkwood
6. Ghost World by Daniel Clowes
7. Feminism Is For Everybody by bell hooks
8. Jesus' Son by Denis Johnson
9. Crush by Richard Siken
10. People Who Are in Love Will Read This Book Differently by Cindy St. John
11. Special Exits by Joyce Farmer
12. Wonderful Company of Fletchers by James Tate
13. Under the Net by Iris Murdoch
14. Invincible by Cristy Road
15. Breath, Eyes, Memory by Edwidge Danticat
16. Museum of the Weird by Amelia Gray
17. The Best American Poetry edited by Amy Gerstler
18. Birds of America by Lorrie Moore
19. The Best American Essays edited by Kathleen Norris
20. Unconsummated by Jen Cross
21. Thank You Notes by Jimmy Fallon
22. The Tiny Wife by Andrew Kaufman
23. The Little Prince by Antoine De-Saint Exupery
24. Important Comics by Dina Kelberman
25. How Like Foreign Objects by Alexis Orgera
26. AM/PM by Amelia Gray
27. Caucasia by Danzy Senna
28. Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother by Amy Chua
29. Of Lamb by Matthea Harvey
30. The Triggering Town by Richard Hugo
31. The Essential Dykes to Watch Out For by Alison Bechdel
32. The Orange Eats Creeps by Grace Krilanovich
33. Clumsy by Jeffrey Brown
34. Lucky by Gabrielle Bell
35. Nobody Passes, edited by Matt Bernstein Sycamore
36. Butch is a Noun by S. Bear Bergman
37. Bluets by Maggie Nelson
38. Meno by Plato
39. Scheherazade: Comics About Love, Treachery, Mothers, and Monsters edited by Megan Kelso
40. So Many Ways to Sleep Badly by Mattilda Bernstein Sycamore
41. That's Revolting! Queer Strategies for Resisting Assimilation, edited by Mattilda Bernstein Sycamore
42. Cunt by Inga Muscio
43. The Chronology of Water by Lidia Yuknavitch
44. Tales Designed to Thrizzle, Volume 1 by Michael Kupperman
45. What I Did. by Jason
46. It Chooses You by Miranda July
47. The Heat and the Hot Earth by Adam Gnade

there goes the fear

if I am going to be mad in love with you, I guess I just will, and it will be the best.

because, o god, o god, o boy, o aaron, am I ever in love with you.

you are. I love you. 

NEED TO DO THESE THINGS

1. E-mail Put This on the Map back
2. E-mail Fred Carriles
3. E-mail J. Goodrich about queer groups in Orlando
4. E-mail Linnea Ryan
5. E-mail Lucy Antrobus
6. TALK TO KONNIE ABOUT PUT THIS ON THE MAP ASAP

things I'm keeping

1.

I am so afraid of losing at this game.
When I look at you, your eyes are like wells, and I can tell that some day I won't be able to climb out.

2.
If I could, I'd tell you that my heart beats in the wrong body parts for you--ears, feet. But my tongue turns inside out and I'm wordless.

3.
During our friendship I've kept a tally.
Times I wanted to kiss you: every.
Times I didn't want to kiss you: none.

4. I want to tell you that you make my body sick. When you leave I stagger back to my room with my stomach dropped out.

5. How do I get to where you are? I'm not sure that I can see it from here.

lookit

 I want to be with you.

I think if you were brave enough you'd admit that you want to be with me, too.

I love you.

...nothing but rulers.

I sharpened all the pencils before your program signups!

Someone had to!

I also cut paper, but no one found it and so instead they decimated a notebook!

AGHAHASDFASD so bizarre. First session, c'est la vie, knock on wood.

It's pretty crazy. That last week. The hardest I've worked in a long time. It gets better. I can imagine. It gets better. You will be better.

Did you see we found the notes from Sedona and Catalina? Things they wrote last year? They're funny. This was a punishment that I had to do as a child. My mom always spearheaded it. We would write repetitions, repetitions, repetitions.

And lists. And essays. I want a cookie. Jeff makes cookies. Need ice cream for Jenn. Running out of time. This is a distraction from everything else. This is empty. I need new Tevas.