You're the human thing.

95% of my life has been torn from me.

I want to tell Hannah that letters are gifts- that I appreciate how much she writes to me when everyone else just says they're "too busy"- but I can't read her letter, because held up to the light through the envelope it looks short.
It looks like she's running out of things to say to me.
It looks like I'm running out of people to tell.
(Not about this thing.
Or that thing.
Just about my life.)
I would keep these parentheses open, but that nonsense is for e-mails and this is Livejournal!: Serious Business!
So, that harp player from Bryn Mawr seems like who I want to be- independent and strong. Not, some girl whose parents won't let her be near boiz (boiz because I mean "men", but men just sounds so officious.)
I'm so scared to visit! What if it's not right, when I've already made it everything I want in a college.
Now I'm tired. Now I want to go to bed.
P.S. I miss Family Unit, well more the kid they let me be.
I don't think I'll get that back. I don't think I'll ever be close to being their real true friend again.
I miss!
Fridays = longing.

All that's known is what's debatable

Our sins aren't as flavorful.

Keep them quiet, she said,
Keep them quiet.
Our sins aren't as flagrant,
Don't sing them out from your balcony.
Keep them quiet,
She said.
I didn't know the rule.
I didn't know some sins were more sinful.
Our sins aren't significant, she said,
Keep them quiet.

This love-left life

 

If you want to know who I am- look here.

If you want to see what I miss- look here.

If you want to know what she meant- look here.

If you want to see my all- look here.

If you want to know why I'm sad- look here.

If you want to see the girl I love more than I ever will again

Look.

There she is.

There she is, permanently afixed in my heart, captured in photograph.

And she is gone, miles away, at a distance I'll never diminish.

We walked together with wheelbarrows full of weeds.

My heart is sitting on the grass with her.

My heart is in all that we were, together.

My heart belongs to you.

With a heart full of wishes and despair,

-K.

Tears are not apologies.

 old dog
so prone
to sleeping
sprawling off
my bed
my feet
glance your
big dog
body and
you barely
seem to
register the
touch. old
dog you
once ran
gaily through
the playground
chasing sunshine
frightening children
you so
big energetic
alive. old
dog now
close to
dying far
from running
always sleeping
old dog
i remember
you and
celebrate.